Slow down...

Today I decided to stop and just watch.

Watch how they play.

Watch how they speak.

Watch how they grow.

And I learned something.  They are growing up fast and right before my eyes.  I see them trying to spread their wings and gain a little more independence.  I see their minds turning and they are searching for understanding.  They are asking questions about life.  Their hearts are seeking out truth.  I see my oldest son trying to break free from childhood and claim a little manhood.

So for right now I want to say to time and life...slow down.  Let me have a little more time.  I need more time to give hugs when they hurt.  More time for watching them play and imagine.  More time for little league and soccer games.  More time for sitting in laps while reading books.

Just more time for this sweet time of being young and innocent.

My head is full...

Time and attention.

Those two words alone are overwhelming. There never seems to be enough of one and not enough energy for the other.  Before going to bed each night I plan and schedule my day.  I can plan out the details as see everything coming together.

But then morning comes.  And the whining starts.  And before I can pour my first cup of coffee, my energy for the day is gone and the schedule is a fragment of my imagination.  We push through the day.  I cling to whatever joy and energy I have left.  I don't want to be a mom who is constantly grumpy.  My sons need to see a mother serving her family with joy.

How do I balance meeting the needs of my boys, be the teacher I expect of myself, and be a partner with my husband?